(HORSE WHINNYING)
(SLURPING)
(GULPS)
Did you put root beer
in my tea cup?
It's better than that
gross chameleon tea you drink.
-Chamomile.
-Whatever.
Just make a move already.
This is so boring.
(GROANS) When are you
going to understand?
Chess requires...
Boring! Boring! Boring!
Boring! Boring!
Clearly this was a mistake.
I'm gonna just
meditate instead.
(WHIRRING)
-(RAVEN CLEARS THROAT)
-(SQUEAKS)
(INHALES)
(SLOSHING)
-Beast Boy!
-(PANTING)
Shh!
(INHALES SHARPLY)
(THUDDING)
(GROWLING)
-(CHOKING)
-Hey, guys.
-You are not gonna believe
what Cyborg just did.
-(GASPS)
(GASPING)
-Ohhh.
-Can it wait?
I was about to permanently
banish Beast Boy
into another dimension.
You can banish him later.
Check it out.
I created a computer program
that analyzes all of your
personality traits
-and matches them with your
ideal superhero mate.
-(BEEPING)
And why would you
waste your time with that?
Because Robin wants to prove
he's a perfect match
for Star. Ow!
Ahem. (CHUCKLES)
Okay. Let's get started.
(BEEPING)
Are we sure it is wise
to let the machine decide
who we love?
-(WHIRRS)
-And Starfire's
ideal match is...
(CYBORG MIMICKING DRUM ROLL)
(GASPING) Please be me,
Please be me, please be me,
Please be me, please be me...
(COMPUTER BEEPING)
Aquaman!
(GASPING) Aqua... What?
Guess what?
Actually, that's me.
What...
(LAUGHING)
(SCREAMING)
Die, computer scum!
Die, die, die!
(BEEPING)
-(EXPLOSION)
-(GRUNTING)
(STATIC)
-My turn.
-(WHIRRS)
(BEEPING)
-Raven.
-ALL: Raven?
Raven? Uh, me?
(CHUCKLES) No.
That must be a mistake.
Hey. Computers never lie.
Wow. This changes everything.
You can't actually
be taking this seriously.
I'm willing to give it...
To give "us" a shot.
If you are. Ow!
Yo, girl. Have you been using
the power of telepathy again?
I don't have the power
of telepathy.
Because you've been
on my mind all day.
Why are you
wearing sunglasses indoors?
I have to wear them.
Because our future
is so bright together, mama.
Ow!
So you and the old
King of the Sea?
Who would have thunk it, huh?
I give no credence
to your machine.
But I admit Aquaman
does possess
many admirable qualities.
And he's quite fit.
(GIGGLING)
You know who else is fit?
What am I looking at?
It's like
I can see everything!
You are not wearing the shirt
or the pants.
Yep.
Just got back
from the pool.
Swam about 200 laps.
No biggie.
I have never seen anything
so pale before!
Oh, the reflection!
It's making me blind!
I'm going blind!
I must go feed the Silkie now.
Well, before you go,
the exits to the room are...
(GRUNTS) There...
and there.
Ooh, did I step in gum?
Look at that calf.
You can cut diamonds.
I've never been
so uncomfortable in my life!
Let me out!
Let me out of here!
-(SCREAMING)
-(CRASHES)
(CHIRPING)
You are a Raven, and I a dove.
And even though
we are different,
we are meant to be in love.
(WHIRRING)
(SQUEAKING) Oh, come on.
That took me, like,
all day to come up with.
And it'll take me
all day to forget.
How about a little romantic
horsey back ride?
(WHINNYING)
(WHIRRING)
(WHISTLING)
(SNIFFING) What is that smell?
You're probably picking up
on my pheromones.
You know, my chemical scent.
(SNIFFS)
(GULPS)
I know what pheromones are,
but all I smell
is rotten fish!
I...can't...breathe.
(COUGHS)
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(GROANING)
-Hey, Star.
-Greetings.
(SNIFFS)
(GASPS)
Smell anything you like?
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
-Go away.
Raven, it takes two
to make a relationship work.
We don't have a relationship.
Give it up.
I have never given up
on anything in my life.
And I am not giving up on us.
What are you talking about?
You give up all the time.
I give up.
If you can give me one reason
we're not meant
to be together,
I'll walk away right now.
Hmm, well...
You're rude, you smell,
annoying,
you say bro too much,
I hate the color green,
I hate your voice,
all you do
is play video games,
you can't tie a tie,
your face gives me the creeps,
your pranks are stupid,
you can't dance,
you're lazy and dumb.
Your clothes are always
covered in pizza stains.
Wow. No one's ever known me
like you do.
-Ow!
-(CRASHES)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
-(DINGS)
-(STATIC)
-(BURSTING)
-(CLICKING TONGUE)
(CHATTERING)
Is that a shark tank
in the living room?
Where did you get
the sharks from?
Is that even safe?
What's wrong with you?
Yep. Chicks dig a guy
who can communicate...
with fish.
I did not realize
you had a fondness
for marine life.
-Oh, yeah. Me and fish?
(CHUCKLES) We're like this.
-(GASPING FOR BREATH)
(CLICKING TONGUE)
(SQUEAKING)
(GASPING)
It's like I have this
connection with them,
you know?
(CHATTERING)
(IMITATING SEAL BARKING)
See?
We're having
a lovely little chit chat...
(SCREAMS)
(MUFFLED) I'm fine.
Do you think
we should help him?
Whoa, whoa!
Just a little
miscommunication.
No. Let him talk his way out
of it.
I'm okay.
(EXHALES)
-(GROANS)
-He will not leave you alone,
will he?
No. Ever since Cyborg's
computer matched us,
he's convinced
we're meant to be together.
-And you are not?
-Of course not.
I want someone who thinks
and acts like me.
(WHEEL SQUEAKING)
Hey, Raven. Hey, Starfire.
Look, I know
what you're doing
and it's
not gonna work.
Oh, come on!
Just give me a chance.
Please. Pretty please
with scary things on top.
Look, I painted
my fingernails black
for you, Raven.
No. Let me make myself clear.
I want nothing
to do with you...
Ever!
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(SNIFFLES)
(ROMANTIC ACOUSTIC GUITAR)
-Beast Boy.
-Yes?
-I think I wanna make
this thing work.
-You mean it?
Oh. (SOBBING)
Raven... (SNIFFLES)
Will you marry me?
(CHURCH BELLS TOLLING)
This is beautiful.
I guess Beast Boy and I
were meant to be together.
(WEDDING MARCH PLAYING)
I've never been so happy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hold the bacon.
There was a tiny,
teensy, eensy-weensy glitch
in my matchmaking program.
You mean, I might not be
Beast Boy's ideal match?
Only one way to find out.
Looks like Beast Boy's
ideal match is...
A scratching post.
-A scratching post?
-Hey.
Computers never lie.
How could I
have been so blind?
(GROANS)
Wait. This means
Starfire's match
isn't Aquaman.
It might be me after all.
-Starfire's match is...
-(BEEPS)
-(BEEPING)
-Also a scratching post.
(SCREAMS)
Maybe that glitch
wasn't so eensy-weensy.
I don't think so.
This feels real to me.
The post for scratching
is meant to be with me!
It was mine first!
(GROANS)
(SOBBING)
(GROWLING)
Why do I even try?